Chelley is Go Radio’s business assistant by day, checking up on checks and balancing the books for our busy station. Once a year however, she transforms into an undead monster during Zombie Pub Crawl.
This is her story from her favorite year of the festival, just before her and her partner tied the knot. She strongly recommends you do the same with your spooky sweetheart this year! Here’s five reasons why:
- Your intended lifelong human is going to look less of a beauty and more of a beast on the Zombie Pub Crawl. This is what Saturday mornings will look like for the next forty years.
- You need to see the maggots crawling from their pores before you agree to the “In sickness and in health” bit. You are signing up to be the primary maggot-remover if they get infested on your Amazonian river honeymoon or after a feisty Friday night curry.
- If you can love them with green gunge oozing from their orifices, you’re going to be just fine when they get their first bout of The Lurgy. By the way, you are also signing up to be primary lurgy-nurse and gunge-expunger when you agreed to wed. [Editor’s Note: Apparently “Lurgy” is UK-speak for “Gross seasonal diseases involving copious amounts of Gunge (mucus).” We looked it up.]
- At some point in the future you might be considering starting a family together. If you can’t survive a night of fake goo in Northeast Minneapolis, you are never going to survive the first diaper. (That s*** is real!)
- Hey… Til death do us part? That’s for wimps. Til death and BEYOND!