AP Photo/Brynn Anderson
Q: In this hypothetical universe you have the choice going back to college and being on the basketball team. Would you rather A: be the star of the team but get bounced in the first round of March Madness? Or B: be a benchwarmer on a team that makes a run to the Final Four? – Eric
This is not even close. Put me on the bench, baby! I would be the best end-of-bench-towel-waver of all time. I’d be such a good hype man for the guys on the team that were actually good that I might get named MVP of the tournament. I would always make sure to get right in the camera shots during big timeouts pumping up the boys. It would be fantastic.
Plus, if you are a benchwarmer, you don’t have to actually play. Have you played basketball lately? That’s a lot of work. No thanks. Plus, dealing with all the pressure of the tournament? No thanks. I will take my glory from the bench, thank you very much. You also get all the perks as the starters even though you are on the bench. The swag, the cool warm ups, having your papers written for you. Hell yeah! Give me the towel and let me be the hype man.
Q: You complain a lot about long movies. Does Avengers being over 3 hours annoy you at all? Because I am mad it is ONLY 3 hours…i wish it was 4 hours long or even 5 hours long. I want it as long as possible – Moo
Ah, I guess I am OK with Avengers: End Game being over three-hours. As people have pointed out, this movie is the culmination of like 247 movies and 9,287 characters so there are a lot of t’s to be crossed and lower case j’s to be dotted. I get it.
I honestly wouldn’t be opposed to them doing an intermission situation though. Not just for bathroom breaks, because my technologically-addicted self can’t go three hours without checking my phone. Plus, it works great for the theaters because it gives people a chance to reload on $14 cocktails.
I am a casual Marvel fan. I see the big ones but don’t bother with some of the fringe ones like Doctor Strange or the ant ones, even though Paul Rudd seems like a grade-A righteous dude. The first trailer didn’t really grab me, but I am still excited to see how this whole thing ends. It would be a huge bummer if 22 movies into this thing it ended with a giant loud fart noise. Mostly I am just hoping for a Hot Aunt May sighting!
Also, I am going to one of those special screening things (sick brag, I know) and will post some very, very SPOILER FREE thoughts on it after I see the advance screening. OK, not 100% spoiler free. I will tell you if we get any Hot Aunt May.
Q: What’s your favorite video game controller? Or do you prefer the joystick of the arcade machines? This is VERY important. – Lindsey
It is pretty well-established that I am an arcade junkie, but I definitely prefer a good at-home controller. Just feels right in your hands.
Here are my top three in no particular order. This may shock some of you but they are all Nintendo controllers.
- Nintendo Entertainment System – The thing I love best about old school games is the simplicity. It doesn’t get much simpler than a d-pad, start, select, and A & B. This controller is so iconic that even your grandma can look at it and know what it is. Classic.
- Nintendo 64 – This one might be controversial because this three-pronged mess looks like a disaster, but I love it. The joystick, the random four C-buttons, the Z-TRIGGER! It is all so weird and wonderful. Another example where Nintendo could have played it safe but went strange instead.
- Switch Pro Controller – This beauty just feels right in your hands. Perfect weight, perfect button spots. Pure sex.
And just for fun….some of the worst controllers ever…
- Sega Dreamcast – I dunno what kind of designer drugs were hot in Japan in the late-90s, but you had to been hopped up on goofballs to design this monstrosity. The shape, how awkward it feels in your hands, the fact the cord COMES OUT THE BOTTOM!
- Original XBox controller – Have a bad guy in your house? Just put one of these in a sock and swing it around your head. You could kill a man with this massive monstrosity.
- NES Power Glove – Just so my Nintendo fanboy bias doesn’t stand out too much, I will throw one Nintendo controller on here. The Power Glove, while the coolest looking thing ever, and the star of the 1989 movie The Wizard, absolutely sucked. It didn’t work at all. Motion control just wasn’t quite there yet.
Q: What are your thoughts on the Jonas Brothers reunion? – Sarah
Um, happy for their fans….I guess? I don’t really have any thoughts on the Jonas Brothers. That isn’t coming from a place of “The Jonas Brothers are DUMB! And people who like them are DUMB!” place, either. I am all for fun pop music. I was PISSED when my wife went to a One Direction show without me. I love me some One D. But for whatever reason there is just a blank spot in my typically pretty encyclopedic pop culture brain when it comes to the J-Bros. Do people call them the J-Bros? I don’t know. But I am gonna start.
Alright, that’ll do it for this week! Let’s all raise a tall glass of orange juice and toast to the weekend! Spring is here, my friends. Let’s keep the dream alive.