Every Friday on GoMN.com Dana Wessel answers your questions. Music, sports, pop culture, whatever you want. Have a question? You can tweet them to @DanaWessel or email him at Dana@GoMN.com. You can also read the Ask Wessel archives right here.
Hey! I am back after a week of vacation. Hope everyone had a good 4th of July. Thanks to everyone who came out to Go Fest ’17. It was an absolute blast. So much so that we already have our next party booked. We are having a Go Show with Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness, Missio, and Vinyl Theatre at the Fine Line on Saturday, August 5. Tickets are just $25.96. It is hosted by Ben, Giselle and myself. Come rage.
Q: So I learned yesterday that you hate jellybeans. Do you have a power ranking for candy? What’s the best? – Gina
In case you missed it, Ben, Giselle and myself were bored after a show this week and had one of those disgusting jellybean containers, the kind where a certain color is either a good flavor like lemon or it is puke flavored. Basically candy Russian Roulette. We then got the bright idea to film ourselves and instantly regretted it.
Anyway, early on in the video I announced that I hate all jellybeans, regardless if it is cherry flavored or butt cheek flavored. It’s true. I just think they are disgusting. They get stuck in your teeth and are just gross.
As far as my favorite candy? I don’t really have one. I am not a big sweets person. If I am in it to win it on a given day calorie-wise then I’d much rather piledrive a bag of Doritos or consider a large frozen pizza a personal-sized frozen pizza. Sugar doesn’t do much for me. I am weird, I know.
Q: What is the deal with that Snapchat hotdog? – Kelly
I don’t know. I really don’t. I have seen it. I know it is a thing. But that is it. I refuse to do much more digging than that. No offense to Mr Dancing Hotdog and his family. But sometimes I have to draw a line in the sand on stories I consume, and I draw the line at caring about dancing hotdogs.
Q: I saw a guy at a second hand media store walk out with like 50 VHS tapes. What do you suppose he plans on doing with those? – Jake
Um, well, Jake, I am not sure what you and your family did with VHS tapes back in the day, but in the Wessel household we put them in the VCR and watched them. I am guessing he has a similar plan, but I suppose given the lack of further evidence I can’t be 100 percent positive.
This probably shouldn’t come as too much of a shock given that people collect everything in 2017, but there are people out there who are still VHS enthusiasts. I’ve come across some in my neverending hunt for vintage video games. Like anything else, it just reminds them of the good ol’ days.
Speaking of, know where you still ALWAYS see VCRs and VHS tapes? Cabins in Minnesota. I know you are nodding along as you read this. Every cabin in Minnesota is required by law to have a VCR, tube TV and a copy of Titanic and Top Gun on VHS. I am pretty sure your land and cabin gets seized by the DNR if you are caught without a VCR in your cabin.
Q: Remember the MTV show Room Raiders? Let’s create a spinoff of that show, have it take place in the office environment and call it Cube Raiders. You in? – Sam
I think there already is a version of Cube Raiders. Isn’t that just human resourses?
Q: How nervous were you during the last preview of your last True Solo? – Michael
For those of you unfamiliar, a True Solo is when you go to a movie by yourself and you end up being the only one in the theater. Ask any movie soloer. They’ll tell you. The True Solo is the highest achievement a soloer can achieve. It is rare. It doesn’t happen often. It takes smarts, deep knowledge of the solo game, and a little bit of luck.
The last few previews when you’re alone in the theater are the worst. You can’t even enjoy the previews. You’re eyes are glued to the sides of the theater, batting from side-to-side, just hoping nobody was going to walk in and break up your perfecto.
The worst… WORST… is when you’ve already claimed victory and some goober comes rolling in 15 minutes into the movie. You should be legally allowed to call the police at that point. Unacceptable.
Here are some tips to achieving the True Solo.
- Pick your movie strategically. Obviously a True Solo isn’t going to happen the opening week of Spider-Man. Or any week for that matter. It is better to pick a movie that was never a huge hit to begin with.
- Pick your timing strategically. The longer the movie has been out, the better the chance of having the place to yourself.
- Pick your showtime strategically. The earlier in the day the better. A lot of these theaters now have like 10 a.m. showings in the summer. Take advantage if you can.
- Pick your day of the week strategically. Obviously a random weekday is going to be better than a weekend. Also, every theater has some sort of like “$5 Tuesday matinee deal.” Avoid those days as well.
So, in summary, catch an early showing on a weekday of a movie that has been out for a long time and was never that popular. That’s your best bet to joining the ranks of the all-time great soloers who can say they’ve reached the summit and achieved a True Solo.
I just wrote over 300 words on seeing movies by myself. I am going to go talk to someone in person for a bit before we continue to make me feel a little less pathetic…
OK! Back to the mailbag.
Q: How are you liking your [Nintendo] Switch? – Ben
I love it. My amazing wife got me a Switch and Zelda for my birthday. I feel like Dom in Fast and Furious when I say there were two sections of my life. Before I got a Switch and after I got a Switch.
The only problem though is I am still trying to figure out what social situations it is appropriate to bring your Switch. I mean, me having my face buried in my Switch is basically the same as me looking at my phone. So why can’t I just bring my Switch to a restaurant with my wife? It should be socially acceptable. Also, what are people’s stance on bringing the Switch to the toilet? Is that cool? Please help me out fellow Switchers.
Q: Is a bib acceptable for an adult in public? Or is stained clothing in style these days? – Nicki
Just like a lot of you, I saw those adult bibs on Amazon Prime Day and laughed at first. But then I thought about it and I think adult bibs should absolutely be a thing in public.
Before you call me a slob, you see those bibs all the time in seafood restaurants. Why can’t we have them everywhere? Especially establishments where I attempt to eat buffalo wings after a few beers. They should also be standard at every BBQ place. If you were to see a picture of me after just finishing my meal at a BBQ place you would have thought I murdered somebody.
Bibs for everybody!
Q: Restaurants are masking increasingly smaller appetizer portions by serving them in odd conveyances like cone-shaped wire baskets, etc. – Clarence
Ask Wessel’s resident Restaurant Truther Clarence nails it again. He is absolutely correct here. The cone move?
Absolute BS. I may not have gotten an A in geometry, I may not have even gotten a B….or C for that matter, but I learned enough to know that the shape of a cone is an unclever ruse by the restaurant industry to cheat you of fries and other delicious appetizers.
It isn’t just the cone, either. The tower? The tower might be even worse. You see the word tower on the menu and you are expecting some massive Shaq-size structure filled with appie goodness. Nope. it is three progressively smaller plates stacked on some cheap metal wiring. I have also seen places that bring out the fries in three smaller bowls that are connected for “sharing.” Nope. We know what you are really doing, guys.
Enough! We shouldn’t stand for this. I want enough appetizers that my adult bib is covered in sauce and crumbs by the time I am finished.
All right, that’ll do it for this week! Let’s all raise a tall glass of orange juice and toast to the weekend. Get your adult bibs on and keep the dream alive this weekend. Summer is almost halfway over. Make every weekend count.