Photo: Lorie Shaull (Flickr)

Every Friday on Dana Wessel answers your questions. Music, sports, pop culture, whatever you want. Have a question? You can tweet them to @DanaWessel or email him at

Well hello there, friends. We are stoked that GoFest is just three weeks away. If you haven’t gotten your tickets, the hell are you waiting for? We want to party with you on Friday the 29th at Cabooze Outdoor Plaza. Sunshine, music, beers, bonding. Will be a great night.

Q: How about some power rankings? Rank the states that border Minnesota. – Kris

We love busting on the states that border us here in Minnesota. I am sure that is normal about most states, but we really like to get high and mighty around these parts. But I actually like our neighbors! Well, some of them. Or maybe just parts of some of them. I dunno. Let’s get to the rankings!

  1. Wisconsin – Clear number one here and it isn’t even close. We like to pile on Wisconsin, but they are a state that stands for beer, deep-fried cheese, and sports. What is there to hate about that? I have logged some hours (and late nights) in Madison and Milwaukee and have always had a blast. Plus, there is Green Bay, which is like its own separate Narnia-like world. Wisconsin ain’t all that bad, you guys. Plus, I laugh whenever somebody says the name Cruisin’ Chubbys.
  2. Iowa – Iowa ain’t so bad either, there just isn’t as much to do in Iowa as there is in Wisconsin. Couple cool college towns, Des Moines is an underrated city that is home to the original Up-Down arcade. Plus, I have seen Springsteen and Foo Fighters play there. Shout-out Wells Fargo Arena.
  3. South Dakota – This one got the nod over their neighbor to the north simply because Mount Rushmore was featured in the Oscar-winning National Treasure II: Book of Secrets starring Nic Cage. I have been there once, it was fine. I got to meet some bear cubs. It just sucks that there is like 20 hours of nothingness between Sioux Falls and the four heads.
  4. North Dakota – Eh, just brings nothing to the table. I say at this point we just offer North Dakota to Canada as something of a peace offering to apologize for that orange goblin in the White House.

Q: I just graduated from college and I am making the walk of shame back to live with my parents in my hometown to save money and stuff. Not really thrilled about it. Any words of wisdom? – Andi

Oh, there is no shame in moving back into the basement with your folks. It is practically commonplace now. I did it after I graduated and it worked as a nice transition from the mystical fantasy world of college life to being an actual adult.

Also, have you seen apartment prices lately? Plus, you are still at that age where crashing at your friend’s place on the weekends is the norm. So get some scrambled eggs made for you, leech off their Netflix account, and save some money for a few months before getting back out on your own.

Q: What do you Ben and Giselle do in the studio when songs are playing? – Rachael

Good question! Here is a list of things that we either do on a regularly basis or have at least done once.

  • Try to throw/catch almonds in each other’s mouths from across the room.
  • Talk about what is coming up in the show.
  • Run to the kitchen to fire up our pizza oven.
  • Laugh about how we hope our bosses didn’t hear what we just talked about on the air/what we are about to talk about on the air next.
  • Answer all the text messages/phone calls we get.
  • Make a bathroom trip, which we oddly all do together as a group. Don’t ask.
  • Sing along to the songs and sometimes changing the lyrics by adding the word “butt” into them.
  • Wave to people out our windows as they walk past our studio at the corner of 5th and 5th in the North Loop.
  • Order food.
  • Call our former intern Anna and try to convince her to go get us food before she goes to her grown-up job.
  • Talk about where we want to go get food after the show.
  • Come up with plans for the coming shows, days, etc.
  • Pull pranks on each other. It is typically me pulling them. Then I get angry when they retaliate even in the slightest because I am kind of a child like that.

Q: Simon Cowell says he hasn’t used his cell phone in 10 months. 2 questions: Could you go 10 months without your phone? Second: How full of [crap] is Simon Cowell? No way he actually does that – Branden

I obviously couldn’t go anywhere near 10 months without a phone. Like everybody else in 2018 I get anxious going 10 minutes without my phone.

But somebody like Cowell could very easily go 10 months without his phone. Hell, he could easily go the rest of his life without his phone. Dude is worth more than half a billion dollars. When he says he hasn’t touched his phone in 10 months all he is saying is that he hasn’t personally touched it. His assistants do all that for him. They take his calls, respond to his emails, tell him when he needs to be somewhere, etc. He has human smartphones he pays to do his work for him. He has enough money to never wipe his own as again if he doesn’t want to.

Us commoners don’t have that luxury of ditching the phone. Most of us are tied to it for our jobs. I am getting texts and emails at all our hours of the day that are work-related. So does everyone else. As much as we like to mock how much everyone looks at their phones in 2018, the truth is that they are our livelihood. If we put our phone down for a week — let alone 10 months — we are all screwed.

Q: Who are you rooting for in the World Cup because the US [didn’t qualify]? – Andrew

I have gotten this question a lot lately and have been kinda avoiding it. I am excited for the World Cup, don’t get me wrong, but whenever I think about the US not being in it it still feels like I am getting repeatedly punched in the stomach by Piston Hurricane.
But the show goes on, folks. The World Cup only happens every four years, so as much as it sucks our beloved Yanks won’t be in Russia, I am still clearly going to watch every match.
I wrote a bit of a primer for those who are curious but may have never watched a World Cup before, or just forgot how the thing works exactly.
I will be actively rooting for Iceland and Belgium. Iceland is just a cool story and were the ones that started the SKOL chant that the Vikings copied. Belgium is just a badass team with some cool players (yes, some of whom play for Chelsea) and it would be nice to see them make a run at this thing.
Alright, that’ll do it for this week! Let’s all raise a tall glass of orange juice and toast to the weekend! Everybody get out there and do your part to live the dream this weekend.

Keep your questions coming to @DanaWessel on Twitterin the comments section below or email them to

%d bloggers like this: