Every Friday on GoMN.com Dana Wessel answers your questions. Music, sports, pop culture, whatever you want. Have a question? You can tweet them to @DanaWessel or email him at Dana@GoMN.com.

Q: Are you guys gunna be at the Fair again??? Same spot as before??? – Mel G

Yes, we are! Our booth will be in the same spot as always. Corner of Judson and Cooper next to the International Bazaar and across from the Horticulture Building. We will be broadcasting live all 12 days. A full schedule should be out soon. We will also be selling some brand new Go merch and have a charging station for your phones courtesy of Firefly Credit Union.

So come stop by and say hello to us. We love meeting everyone from the Go Fam. Don’t be shy. Nothing bums is out more than when we get an email or a text to the studio saying “I saw you at the Fair but was too shy to come say hello.” We’re friendly! 

Q: How much have you spent on Lime scooters? – FD

Honestly? I don’t know. Heather handles the finances. Although she did casually mention to me the other day, “You really think you need to ride those scooters as often as you do?” so I would guess I have probably spent more than enough to have bought my own scooter by now. Oh, well. It isn’t about the money. It is about reducing my carbon footprint by not driving as much!!! At least that’s what I tell her…

My most ridiculous Lime experience happened on Election Day. I wanted to Lime up to my polling place because, well, duh. You gotta roll up in style on E-Day. The polling place was three blocks south of our house in Uptown. The nearest Lime was about two miles away to the north. Check out the map below.

Red dot is where I started/ended. Dashed line was where I walked. The big black circle is the polling place. Yes, I know it was a bit over-the-top, but sometimes you gotta go all out if you wanna live that #LimeLife.

Q: Ask Wessel question: how many new beers to try at the state fair in one visit is too many? There are 27 new ones, ya know! – Heidi

I think trying any less than all 27 and you are a total amatuer, Hedi. Just kidding, obviously. Please don’t send me your medical bills after drinking 27 beers.

The best thing about going to the Fair is going with a crew and everybody sharing. You get a little bit of everything that way. Plus, a lot of the new beers are those weird specialty ones. Do you really need a full 12 ozs of Sriracha-Infused Blueberry Goat Cheese IPA? Probably not. Take a sip to say you tried it and pass it around to your friends. Oh, and I don’t want to hear from the germaphobes about how gross it is to share a glass. If you are at the State Fair then taking a sip out of the same glass as your friend should be the least of your health concerns.

Also, as long as we are on the topic, is there a more fun place to have a few beers than the State Fair at night? The lights, the smells, the sounds, the energy. Walking around with friends and taking it all in with a few beers is one of the highlights of the summer for me.

Q: What would it take to get you to come duck hunting this fall? – Bob

I mean, define duck hunting. Will there be a cabin I can hangout in and drink beer and play Nintendo while everybody else goes out and shoots ducks? Then yeah, I’ll go duck hunting, as long as nobody tells me about the ducks they killed when they return to the cabin to drink beer and watch sports on TV with me.

But physically pulling a trigger with the intent to kill a duck? Can’t do it. I can’t even bring myself to eat duck. I have nothing against hunters or the sport of hunting. I totally get it’s necessary…circle of life, Mufasa and Simba, and all of that. It just isn’t for me. I just couldn’t shoot an animal. 

Q: I’m approaching 40. Is a tattoo a good mid-life crisis purchase? Assuming the answer is yes, if a guy were to have only 1 tattoo, what should it be? – Andy

A tattoo is a great idea, mid-life crisis or not. I got my first tattoo on my bachelor party (a US Soccer logo above my right knee) and I absolutely love it. I got my second later that year when I got my wife’s initials on my ring finger. I had long been against tattoos until I got my first. Now I already have a few more ideas for what I want next.

As far as your first tattoo, just go with something you think is cool. That’s all that matters. Don’t try to get something to impress others. Get something that is special to you. Don’t worry what other people think…well, except maybe a spouse. Or maybe your boss, too. They might care if you show up to work with ‘GET MONEY GET LAID’ tattooed across your forehead.

So that’s my advice. Definitely get one and make it something you dig. Want something sentimental like a family members initials, religious symbol, important date? Let it rip. Want something out there like Han Solo riding a My Little Pony that is farting fire out of its ass? Hell yeah. It’s your life, live it on your terms, Andy.

Q: Hey Dana.  Something for your next Ask Wessel.  What do you think society takes too seriously? – Tim

Here are few things off the top of my head that people take too seriously.

  • What type of cell phone they have — It’s a phone. Everybody has one. You aren’t special or better because of the brand/model you have.
  • Fancy coffee — It’s just bean water. Chill.
  • Social media accounts — Just tell jokes and retweet pictures of puppies. Stop taking yourself so seriously.
  • Specialty diets — Being vegan or doing Whole 30 isn’t a personality type. You don’t have to tell everyone. Just eat what you eat.
  • Donkey Kong high scores – THE ONLY PERSON THAT CARES ABOUT YOUR DONKEY KONG HIGH SCORE IS YOUR FRIEND MATT. JUST TEXT HIM DIRECTLY SO YOU TWO CAN BE DONKEY KONG WEIRDOS TOGETHER. STOP TWEETING ABOUT IT AND TALKING ABOUT IT. NOBODY CARES.

Whoa. That was weird. I felt like everybody closest to me just took over my hands and typed that last one for me. Anyway, let’s just move on.

Q: My Ask Wessel questions for this week: 1) Are ringtones still a thing? 2) If someone you were really close to (wife, mom, [best man at your wedding] Dylan) committed a serious come, would you turn them in? – Tank

First question: No, ringtones are over. If I were in charge, all phones made from this point forward wouldn’t even have a ringtone function.

I understand why we used to need ringtones back in the day. All of us were capable of going more than eight seconds without our phone in our hand. A ringtone was necessary for us to remember we had a device called a phone and would prompt us to answer it. In 2018? Just leave it on vibrate. The furthest my phone ever goes from my hand is my pants pocket. There is no reason for a ringtone, especially since anybody who actually uses their phone to call someone is pure evil. Text me like an adult.

Second question: Whoa! That sure took a turn, Tank. “Hey here is a lighthearted question about cell phones, Dana. Now…now here is a question about if a loved one became the next Unabomber”

First of all, let’s take my mom and Heather out of the equation here. Neither are capable of hurting a bug, let alone a serious crime. My best friend Dylan on the other hand? Hooooo boy. That is a whole different story.

Dylan is literally a rocket scientist so he is smart enough to come up with some brilliant tech scheme. However, he is also smart enough to know he could never let somebody like me find out about it, so the question is kinda moot.

I would love to be a character witness at his trial though and make him sweat a bit. 

Prosecutor: You’ve known Dylan since middle school. Do you think he is capable of being the Blackjack Bandit that rigged card shufflers at casino blackjack tables for an overall take of over $16.2 million dollars?

Me: Well, you know, now that you mention it, I do remember him reading that book about the Harvard blackjack team back in high school and being very fascinated by it….”

Alright, that’ll do it for this week! Let’s all raise a tall glass of orange juice and toast to the weekend! Last weekend before the State Fair starts. Summer will be over before we know it. Get out there and do your part to keep the dream alive.

Keep your questions coming to @DanaWessel on Twitter, in the comments section below or email them to Dana@GoMN.com

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