Happy New Year, you guys! Thanks for continuing to read this dumb mailbag. We have big plans for the #GoFam in 2019. This will be the year we take things to the next level.
Q: Big goals for 2019? – Adam
Oh yeah! Lots of them, Adam. Lets bullet point these bad boys, aye?
- Beat Mario 3 for the 400th time.
- Fulfill my lifelong dream of getting into a fist fight on top of a moving train like the old time western movies.
- Party at Zorbaz.
- Get fully caught up on Days of Our Lives by watching all 13,484 episodes.
- Show up unexpectedly at a party a friend is throwing in a different state, take a long drag of a cigarette, and in a scruffy voice say, “You think I’d miss this party?”
- Do a shot with somebody who has won a Grammy.
- Have a day where I eat buffalo wings for all three meals.
- Finally get the mayor of Minneapolis to talk to me about my idea for a giant water slide in downtown Minneapolis.
- Pet a lot of good dogs.
Q: I saw you tweet a lot about loving it but I know you and your love of bits…..soooo what did you actually think of Masked Singer?
It’s fun! It is dumb, but there is no denying it is a lot of fun. I flipped over after seeing some friends Tweet about it and I found myself entranced. I thought I was having a fever dream. It is all so bizarre, ridiculous….yet somehow perfect? I really can’t explain it. It just works for some reason.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I plan on watching season 20 of The Masked Singer with my kids someday. Or that I will make it through the end of this first season. But for the time being, it is good, dumb fun and I am on board.
Q: What’s the longest you’ve ever kept a New Year’s resolution? – Dan
I gave up ‘Leg Day’ at the gym in like 2005 and am still going strong.
Q: How many Pulisic jerseys are you going to buy? – Charlie
All of them. All of them. Now, I know what you are thinking, “Yeah, that makes sense that Dana will buy all three — the home, away and third jersey.” But no, I want to be clear, I will be buying EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Every jersey Nike makes, I will buy. Hundreds of thousands of them. I am going to buy so many that he will need to borrow one from me in which to play in.
For those confused, Christian Pulisic is the US Soccer wunderkind and he just signed to play for my favorite club Chelsea FC next season. This excites me greatly, as you can imagine. I plan on spending a lot of money on merch and a lot of time worrying about his well being and that he succeeds. Not so much because him doing well would help Chelsea, but he is a good kid and I want to see him continue to grow into his massive potential.
Q: Was having this debate with a friend from elementary school over holiday break from work. Was cheating in Heads Up 7-Up and other games we played at school okay or poor form? – Sammy
Oh, come on. Is that even a question? It’s all in the game, yo. You find an edge in any possible way. My move for Heads Up 7-Up was to have my head down on the table but slightly off the edge so I could see the shoes of whoever was putting my thumb down. That’s just textbook. I would also guard against that move being played on me by making sure I was standing directly behind the person I was tapping. Gotta be hustlin’ when it comes to elementary school games.
Another popular way of gaining an advantage (I REFUSE TO CALL IT CHEATING) came during the classic gym game Capture the Flag. Remember that one? You would wear those belts that had velcro flags hanging them. The move would be to loop the hanging flags around your belt a few times so they were harder to grab. You could take it to another level by making sure your shirt was untucked which made it even the harder to grab.
Q: Who’s the number 1 ranked Men’s division 1 college hockey team? – @GoHuskiesWOOOOOO
That would be St Cloud State University!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO HUSKIES WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
That’ll do it for this week! Let’s all raise a tall glass of orange juice and toast to the weekend and New Year! Hope everybody has had a great start to 2019 and things just keep getting better from here.