Q: Will Toad ever recover? Will we? – Scott
I don’t know. I wish I had some sage-like advice or promise that we, and more importantly Toad, would get through this mess, but I just don’t know, Scott. I just don’t know.
The thing I keep coming back to is this: why Toad?! Have you ever played a Mario game? That goofy little bastard is just always looking to help out. Whether it was informing you your princess was in a different castle in the original Super Mario Bros or doling out free lives in Mario Odyssey, the dude has always been there for his pals, willing to do whatever it takes to help out.
Why Toad? Go after Bowser or Wario! Hell, drag Luigi’s lame-ass through the mud. But leave Toad out of this. Just breaks my heart. We should set up a Go Fund Me or at least Bite Squad him some nachos or something. Just unbelievable.
Q: What was your favorite Jimmy Butler moment? – Ryan
Probably when he gave out his phone number at the Mall of America during that press conference and everybody was charmed and infatuated and then he proceeded to play 56 games, feud with the entire team and coach, demand a trade, and set the franchise back even further than it was before the team gave up a load of assets to get him.
Part of me feels awful for Wolves fans and another part of me has a ton of respect for them. They have been through so much as sports fans. Sports are supposed to be fun, an escape from the awfulness of life. They have had like a combined 45 minutes of joy in the past 20 years. I am in awe of anyone who has stuck around this long. If I was a diehard Wolves fan I would have moved and found some weird Footloose-like town that instead of banning dancing they outlawed NBA.
Q: Maroon 5 for the Super Bowl? Who had that dumbass idea? – Mark T
This seems to happen every year around this time. A Super Bowl act is announced (or in this case, strongly rumored) and the internet lights itself on fire in anger and outrage over who is playing. But even if you hate them, you have to admit that Maroon 5 is the type of safe pick the NFL is known for ever since the world almost ended because we saw a boob on TV for .00038th of a second.
Think about it, Maroon 5 have been around forever. You would be amazed at how many hit songs they have that you have forgotten about. They have a family-friendly TV star as a lead singer who even your mom and grandma recognize and love. I am actually surprised it has taken this long for Maroon 5 to play the Super Bowl.
The NFL will always go with a safe choice that even non-football fans love. Obviously we all would rather have Foo Fighters or a local Atlanta act like Migos or T.I., but wishing/expecting the NFL to ever do something like that is a waste of time. Hell, they won’t even let a players wear different colored socks. They are always going to grab whatever bland musician or band that has the most mass-appeal at the time.
I dislike Maroon 5 as much as the next guy, but everyone has to admit this is SUCH an NFL move.
Q: How do you think (Liquor) Lyle’s would change if the put windows in it? – Myjah
I don’t even want to imagine that. For those that have never been to the glorious dive-bar goodness that is Liquor Lyles, it is a windowless spot that seemingly always has happy hour. It is the one bar I have always been able to count on to never change or be updated. Even CC Club redid their bathrooms recently.
Adding windows would just totally ruin the charm of Lyle’s. Lyle’s is the type of place you go to forget about life for a while and the windowless vibe totally adds to it. It makes it feel like a strip club or a casino; you just don’t know what is going on in the outside world for a while and just don’t care.
I bet if they ever added windows the regulars would revolt and just board them up like the place was prepping for a hurricane.
Q: Could you kick a 35-yard field goal? – Brad
Sure. If the ball was on a tie, there was no wind, I was wearing soccer cleats, there was nobody watching that I’d hate to be embarrassed in front of, and I had a couple beers in the parking lot before attempting. Oh, and I would probably need between 6-9 attempts. If all those stars aligned, yeah, I could whack one between the ‘rights from 35.
As much as we all — myself definitely included — enjoyed making jokes at that the dude’s (forgot his name already, not worth looking up) expense, you do feel bad for him. He was put into a tough position to begin with. Why even draft a kicker? Hopefully homeboy has been avoiding Twitter and maybe get another shot with a team down the line. Having your NFL career end after two weeks would be rough.
Also, as long as we are on the topic, we all laughed at Zimmer’s “Did you see the game?” line, but has that dude earned the right to be such a richard all the time? He seems like a good coach and his players seem to dig him, but Belichick has earned the right to be rude all the time because he has more rings than Sonic. I kinda feel like Zimmer should tone it a bit until he and Brad Childress aren’t tied for the same amount of playoff wins as a head coach, but what do I know?
Q: So….? – Phil
I am guessing that my friend Phil is asking about my experience seeing Bruce Springsteen on Broadway. Phil saw it about a week before I did and prepped me with everything I needed to know about the show.
I guess I haven’t written much about it just because I am still kind of at a loss of words. If you’re new around here, Bruce Springsteen is a pretty big part of my life and has been for a long time. I was fortunate enough to land tickets to one of his final shows on Broadway before he ends his run in December.
I had extremely high expectations, as I always do with everything Springsteen, and it somehow exceeded everything I could have ever dreamed of. I laughed, I cried (a lot), and had a perma-grin throughout. I have seen Bruce over 20 times, read about everything that has been written about him, but this was on a totally different level. The theater was so small I felt like he was talking directly to me the entire time. Boss has always been very open in his lyrics, interviews and, of course, his autobiography, but this was so much deeper than all of those. It was the greatest rockstar to ever live up on stage by himself with his guitar and piano baring his soul. Truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Q: #GOHUSKIESWOOOOO : Great Hashtag or the Greatest Hashtag? – @GOHUSKIESWOOOOO
The greatest hashtag ever with #JackSikmaHotTubParty coming in a close second.
College hockey season is about to start and I gotta admit, I am not ready for it. The Great NCAA Tourny/Motzko Double Dick-Kick of 2018 that St Cloud State fans endured last season still stings. My Husky Love meter might be down a bit this season.
Q: Which drink at Psycho Suzi’s pairs best with watching Nicolas Cage’s Mandy on your iPhone while sitting on the bar’s outdoor patio? – Sean
This question is officially entered into the Ask Wessel Hall of Fame.
I had to go back and take a look at the Psycho Suzi’s menu to remember some of their cocktails. It obviously has to be something strong to have while watching Mandy. I eventually settled on The One Eyed Willy. Per their website: “This salty dog is a dangerous and deadly potion. Dark Jamaican rum, house-made falernum, orange, pineapple, fresh lime, and 151 rum.”
I haven’t seen Cage’s new flick Mandy (Ill be fixing that this weekend), but from what I have heard about it, a drink that is described as “dangerous and deadly” sounds so perfect. Also, watching a Cage flick on my phone at a bar is something I somehow have never done….yet.
Alright, that’ll do it for this weekend. Let’s all raise a tall glass of orange juice and toast to the weekend! It is officially crockpot and slippers season here in Minnesota. Rejoice!