Every Friday on GoMN.com Dana Wessel answers your questions. Music, sports, pop culture, whatever you want. Have a question? You can tweet them to @DanaWessel or email him at Dana@GoMN.com. You can check out the Ask Wessel archives here.
Guess where I am? Denver. I cranked out an Ask Wessel from the hotel lobby hungover because I love you all so much. Do I deserve some special recognition for this? Yeah, yeah, I would say I do.
Q: The little red numbers on your phone that show how many unread texts or voicemails or emails etc you have — should you stay caught up so those numbers go away, or let them multiply? My wife insists on immediately zeroing them out, and gets annoyed that I don’t. – Phil
I am just going to be blunt here. Phil, you deserve to be thrown in jail and your wife deserves a medal. I am glad she is doing the Lord’s work and helping us rid the world of those awful red notifications. They stress me out so much. I get bad anxiety if I have any red marks on my phone. I am a freak about it. I am glad your wife is on my team.
I have gone as far as to delete Instagram on multiple occasions just because there was some dumb red notification above it that wouldn’t go away. Yes, I would rather delete one of my favorite apps and not be able to use it anymore than deal with the ugliness of a red notification that won’t go away. This is how deep into the clean phone game I am. Does that make me weird? Don’t answer that.
Q: You get one video game console and every game or every console with one game per console. Which do you choose? – Tim
My first thought was to try to get sneaky and pick the Nintendo Wii since I’d have all the Wii games plus all the old NES/SNES/N64 games on the Virtual Console. But I feel like that defeats the spirit of the question, Tim, and the last thing I want to do is take the easy way out.
There are just too many garbage systems to warrant taking one game on every system. Do I really need a 3DO and a Jaguar? I mean, sure, they’d make interesting conversation pieces but I’d never even hook them up.
Give me the Super Nintendo Entertainment System and every game. That’d be the cat’s a**. The best system with the best library. Not only is the library deep, but they also had some repackaging of classic NES games like Super Mario All-Stars and Ninja Gaiden Trilogy, so I could still get some 8-bit love while beating Ganon in Zelda and collecting bananas in Donkey Kong Country.
Q: When are places going to get with the times and have outlets/USB plugs in bathroom stalls to charge our phones? – James
Hopefully never? I am a huge proponent of outlets to plug your phones in at each barstool, but the bathroom might be a step too far. We’re gonna get people hogging the toilet just to charge their phone.
How long are you sitting on the toilet that you think you can get a good charge going during your, uh, movement? You might have bigger issues than just not having a charged cell phone.
Q: You lived every boy’s dreams by getting to run the ropes in an actual wrestling ring. How was it? I am jealous and want deets. – Jon
I can’t even begin to explain how cool it felt. I have wanted to be in an actual wrestling ring my entire life. Getting to finally hit the ropes was a dream come true.
There was some pro wrestling outside on Open Streets at Lyndale Avenue on Sunday. I got there early specifically with the hope of sweet-talking my way into the ring. My wife was very confused why we were getting to a free wrestling show 90 minutes before it started, but she knows me well enough to never be surprised by anything anymore.
The ring was up by the time I got there and there wasn’t much of a crowd yet. I discreetly asked the manager of the bar that was hosting the event if I could pop in the ring for a quick picture. After some hemming and hawing, she agreed. I knew I didn’t have much time so I got in and did a quick Ultimate Warrior rope shake before running and hitting the ropes. Then I did a Ric Flair strut before finishing with the Stone Cold turnbuckle pose. My lovely (and very understanding) wife took a bunch of pictures. I was shaking with excitement and was floating the rest of the day.
Remember that last sentence next time I make fun of something you like. I am a major goon.
Q: Do you ever feel bad for kids that they don’t get to experience the thrill and awkwardness of making a mixtape or CD for someone? – Amy
That is a good question. Do you think kids make Spotify playlists for people they like? For some reason that seems like taking the easy way out. Making a mix CD used to be a LOT of work. First of all, you had to download all the songs which took FOREVER if you only had dial-up internet. I also remember with some of the early CD burners it only worked correctly like one outta every three times. Plus, blank CDs were not cheap. These dumb symbols of affection took WORK.
I can remember some really embarrassing ones I made in my day. I remember thinking I was being really cool and sweet by putting a DEEP Backstreet Boys cut rather than just whatever the hit of the week was. What a loser. It would be torture to have to sit through an entire mix CD I made a girlfriend in high school. Thank god all of the evidence has been destroyed.
Q: Why doesn’t the light rail go faster? I grossly underestimated how long it would take me to get to the airport and almost missed my flight. – Adam
Because people manage to get hit by them even at the putzy speed it travels at now. Can you imagine how many more people would get smoked if we added some NOS to those things? The body count would rise instantly if we turned into the bullet train.
Q: I am newly single for the first time since dating apps became a thing (long story). Any advice on which if any I should try? – Danny
Some people mock me for saying this, but I think the best dating app out there is Twitter. There is too much pressure on the other actual dating apps. You have to match, then have awkward private messages with people you don’t know. You barely know these people. You can’t get a true sense of who they are by a dating profile and a couple hand-selected pictures.
On Twitter, however, you actually get to know someone over time. You get to know their sense of humor and personality and have a much better idea if you think you would be compatible. I met my wife through Twitter and know a lot of other couples that started out that way as well. Everybody has had a Twitter crush at some point. You see the flirting constantly on there. Don’t be afraid to do some DM slidin’ and try to make things happen. I am serious. All you single people reading this do me a favor and send a DM today. Seize the carp.
Swiping on Tinder and Bumble just seems like one big meat market. Plus, it doesn’t seem like all that many people ever end up actually meeting up on Tinder. It seems more like a game for people to see if they can hit their high school. Matches are just like any other “like” on social media that gives them the feeling of validation.
So ditch the swipes and DM a Twitter crush.
Q: I’m sitting front from for (WWE) RAW the night after the July PPV what should my sign read? – Dustin
Alright, that’ll do it for this week. Let’s all raise a tall glass of orange juice and toast to the weekend! Everybody get out there and do your part to keep the dream alive this weekend.