Hello, my name is Dana Wessel and I am all about that Lime life.
Oh I can’t help it. I’m all about that Lime Life. pic.twitter.com/3OGE2GysD2
— Dana Wessel (@DanaWessel) July 29, 2018
It wasn’t always this way. I scoffed when those scooters got dumped on our streets in the dark of night a few weeks ago. My first two attempts to ride them were failures. A Bird scooter wouldn’t read my ID correctly and wouldn’t let me on. Then a buddy and I went on a mile-long wild duck chase (I don’t say goose chase. Geese are evil) then ended up without any Limes.
But then last week when I was on vacation I tracked down a fresh Lime on the other side of Lake Bde Maka Ska. I don’t think I am exaggerating (OK, maybe a little) when I say that there are two phases of my life. Before I started riding Limes and after I got on my first one. I don’t remember what things were like before I became all about that Lime life and, quite frankly, I have no interest in ever going back.
These things are totally easy to unlock. You download the app, scan a Lime with your phone, agree (OK, lie) that you will wear a helmet, and you’re off. Let me tell you, these bad boys cook. I got my hog up to 17 miles per hour cruising around the lake. I have never felt more alive.
I have already seen some backlash about these things on the internet which shouldn’t come as much surprise. There is nothing people love more in 2018 than to be the first person to crap on something new. But I am obsessed with these things. I have even been checking for Limes nearby my house when I walk out to my car. Yes, I am even trying to live that Lime life at 4am.
So I say give one a shot. I want to organize a Lime scooter gang. We will go all over town, stopping for smoothies and high-fiving fellow Limers as we scoot past them. Hell, I say we even put chains on the tires and keep Liming all winter, baby. Long live the lime life, my friends.