In addition to making your mornings suck less on Go 96.3’s Morning Show, Dana Wessel is our station’s resident cinephile. Think of him like Ebert, Roper and Siskel combined, but way cooler. Check out his weekly movie preview below.
You guys, The Rock is stuck in a skyscraper and needs to rescue his family! No time for small talk. Onto the movies!
Skyscraper – Dwayne Johnson, Neve Campbell, Chin Han, Roland Møller, Noah Taylor, Byron Mann, Pablo Schreiber, and Hannah Quinlivan.
What’s the deal?
****Scene: Conversation between studio executives in 2017****
Executive One: OK, we need the next project for The Rock. Something action-y. What do we got?
Executive Two: Hmmm. What have we done already? We’ve done fast cars, rebooted a board game movie, rebooted a random 1990s video game, rebooted a swimsuit TV show. Hell, we even had him play a tooth fairy.
Executive Three: What about Die Hard? What if we just reboot that?
One: We don’t own the rights.
Two: So? Just call it like Death Tower or Terror Building or something.
One: Good enough for me. Let’s call it a day. I’ll buy lunch.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t present for this conversation, but I am willing to bet my Donkey Kong arcade machine that this is exactly how it went down. It is Die Hard with the Rock…who also has a prosthetic leg? And they devoted a large chunk of the trailer to that fact?
Also notable about this movie is Neve Campbell plays Rock’s wife! She’s alive! Yes, I know she has been on House of Cards but every self-respecting human stopped watching that midway through season two. Good to see Neve in something other than Scream VIII.
Should you go?
Now don’t get it twisted. It may have seen like I was ripping Skyscraper above. Not at all. That is 100% praise. This movie looks like a glorious bad action movie that we will all enjoy/make fun of whenever it comes on cable for the rest of our lives. If they had an Oscars for good-bad movies this would be the front-runner for the trophy. Go see it!
Hotel Transylvania III: Summer Vacation – Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kevin James, David Spade, Steve Buscemi, Keegan-Michael Key, Molly Shannon, Fran Drescher, and Mel Brooks.
What’s the deal?
I dunno, I got like twenty seconds into that trailer. My commitment to this weekly bit only goes so far. Also, believe it or not, I missed the first two installments of this illustrious film series.
Should you go?
I mean, only if you have to. If you get dragged to this by your kids, nieces/nephews, whatever, I offer you my most sincere condolences. In fact, let me know if you have to see it and I’ll Venmo you money for a beer afterwards. You’ll have earned it.
Current box office champ: All Marvel does is win win no matter what. Ant-Man and the Wasp became the 4,287th Marvel movie to go No.1 at the box office. That number is a rough estimate but I gotta assume it is close.
This week’s predicted champ: It looks like it will be a race between an Ant-Man repeat and Hotel Transylvania (never underestimate the power of family CGI movies with famous people supplying the voices).
What opens next week? A three-pack of…get this…sequels! I know! In the summer?! Shocking. The Equalizer, Mama Mia, and Unfriended all get served seconds. Then the week after we finally get the new Mission: Impossible which I think will be the best summer blockbuster.